Wanted: One Scapegoat For New “War Czar” Position


Because some of the generals they’ve approached have begun to talk about it, we’re now hearing about the Bush war machine’s efforts to hire a “War Czar.” The problem is, for some reason, nobody wants the job.

I know, I know, you’re thinking we already have a war czar. It’s the guy who likes to dress up in flight suits and call himself a war president (and who in fact is the Commander in Chief).

The War Czar is supposed to direct the Iraq and Afghanistan war efforts, issuing orders to the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies.

The job, according to the Washington Post, has been offered to at least three 4 star generals, who’ve all turned it down. One of the generals is ret. Marine General Jack Sheehan. He describes a White house torn between delusional Cheney’s hard line “al Qaeda is there and we’ve got to fight them" attitude, and the pragmatists who see a catastrophe for Republicans in 2008, and want to find a way out.

The very fundamental issue is, they don't know where the hell they're going," Sheehan is quoted as saying to the WaPo.

If you’re not sure how you feel about the idea, consider that it’s enthusiastically endorsed by Fred Kagan of the American Enterprise Institute, who was the author of the surge plan:

“Hope they do it, and hope they do it soon.” Gosh, that means it's a great idea.

So let’s help them write a want ad.

Wanted: Scapegoat with high threshold for pain, low self-esteem to act as mouthpiece/puppet for Bush war. Must be willing to provide “guidance” to the President on the conduct of the war, in the form of stating to him what he already wants to do so that he can say it was Czar’s idea. Must be able to take responsibility for mistakes and disasters. Must be prepared to leave job suddenly and without warning.

On the other hand, they could just give the job to McCain. He loves the shopping.